Want to avoid Monday’s proceedings? Maybe go for a long walk, or consider leaving the country altogether
While millions in Britain and around the world will mark the Queen’s funeral on Monday with solemnity – whether it be by watching Huw Edwards for nine hours from the comfort of their living room or joining a mass gathering at an official big screen event – many others will want to take advantage of a rare bank holiday and swerve the historic event altogether.
But will that actually be possible? With most sports centres and public buildings, plus many high street shops, supermarkets and museums closing, Monday may feel much like the bank holidays of yore, with pretty much everything shut and not even a James Bond movie for entertainment.
For those who would rather politely decline to take part in the mass observance of the Queen’s funeral, here are some ideas.
Go for a long walk
Remember all those wholesome activities you resorted to during the Covid lockdowns? They are your friend. Alan Wares, the co-host of the Brighton FC Albion Roar podcast, has decided to go for a long walk along the South Downs with his dog Roxy. “Nothing will be open for miles around, so we’ll take the freebie option and Roxy will make some friends with other people avoiding the funeral along the way,” he said.
Work
You might be freelance, or you might work in the NHS or an emergency service or countless other jobs in which you will not be getting a bank holiday. You might even work in news gathering. If so, solidarity.
Go to the pub
But not any run by Greene King or the Fuller’s group, which have both said they will be showing the funeral service. In fact it might be best to choose an establishment with no TV at all. Isobel Knight, a PR consultant, has done her homework. “Thankfully, a local wine bar has come to the rescue. They’re open from 1pm and don’t have a TV. When I checked last night, they promised it would be music only in the background,” she said.
Bake a cake
Make sure you buy your ingredients before Monday though, because many supermarkets will be shut. The author and political analyst Saurav Dutt has decided to turn the activity into a political statement and is baking a union jack cake to represent the empire with the Koh-i-noor diamond set in the Queen’s Mother’s crown. The cake will be divided between four friends’ households – one Indian, one Pakistani, one Afghan and one Iranian – to represent returning the jewel to South Asia, where all four countries claim it. “It’s an interesting way to avoid the funeral,” he said.
Leave the country
It’s dramatic, but it might be the only option that allows you to completely avoid any funeral coverage, and even then you might have to choose somewhere remote. Graham Smith, the CEO of the campaign group Republic, will be driving across Sweden to the annual meeting of the Alliance of European Republican Movements. “On large royal events like jubilees and weddings, we normally tell republicans not to leave the country and find another way to join the conversation,” he said. “We felt this was not the moment to protest, but there will be a series of events and protests including for the investiture of the Prince of Wales and the coronation for people to get involved in.”