THE telly has spent the past week browbeating us all into being obedient and loyal little subjects of a tetchy, pampered, and out-of-touch man. Although I am still at the stage where whenever anyone says King Charles, I immediately mentally add ‘spaniel’. There is no public space in this new Britain for those of us who don’t accept Charles as our king, or indeed as our spaniel. Even standing in a public place carrying a placard saying #NotMySpaniel carries with it the risk of arrest. Nothing must intrude upon the 10-day long royalgasm for which public enthusiasm is mandatory.
There is little other news, government has been suspended, never mind the energy crisis, you peasants can warm yourselves with your love for the Royal Family. The Great British Mournathon is so all-pervasive, so intrusive, so intolerant of those who refuse to participate in the obligatory gushing that it has become counterproductive.
I’ve never been a fan of the monarchy, and like many readers of this newspaper my sympathies have always been decidedly republican. However, I recognise that outright republicans are a minority, even in a Scotland which is easily the least monarchist part of Britain. Most in Scotland were ambivalent about the monarchy, thinking it was all an anachronistic and irrational irrelevance, but not really caring too much either way.
It was all just a soap opera that they didn’t particularly care for, but which they didn’t get too worked up about either. However days and days on end of nauseating sycophancy, an authoritarian and compulsory force-feeding of Windsor saccharine, is likely to push many over the edge and to turn them into active opponents of the monarchy.
We are currently at the “Let’s all look at a coffin” stage of the mournathon with a live feed of a coffin on a plinth and silent mourners who had queued for many hours shuffling by in the apparent belief that gazing upon a coffin draped with flags would make them a part of history. You might have thought that you became a part of history just by being alive when a historical event took place, but apparently you have to queue for the best part of the day, now there’s the perfect metaphor for Brexit Britain.
I had expected that the British media would go overboard when the Queen died. We got a taster of what we were in for when Prince Philip passed away, but the British media circus has been far worse, far more deranged, than my worst fears. What they are really mourning is the passing of a confident and self-assured British state. The British nationalist media is desperately trying to cling on to the last vestiges of former glory in the vain hope that this orgy of royal fervour will magic away the challenges, fears and insecurities of the present.
In 1952 when Elizabeth came to the throne, Britain was still a global power. India had become independent a few years before, but Britain still controlled extensive colonial possessions in Africa, Malaysia, Hong Kong, and the Caribbean. Just a few months after the new Queen acceded to the throne, Britain successfully detonated its first atomic warhead and joined the club of nuclear superpowers. Scottish independence did not even register as a significant political influence, and the prevailing view was that the reign of the new Queen would usher in a new epoch of British greatness. British democracy was believed to be the best in the world.
Instead, the reign of Elizabeth was characterised by British decline and decay. The Britain of 2022 is diminished and isolated, fearful and uneasy, alienated from Europe and uncertain even whether the United Kingdom will still be united in a few years’ time.
Meanwhile, the new Prime Minister that we didn’t choose either has been getting on with the important business of screwing over the poor and making the kingdom inherited by Charles a land fit for profiteering and private greed.
Truss has given £130 billion to the oil, gas & nuclear Industries, legalised fracking and issued new North Sea licenses. This is despite the fact that wind-generated electricity is now ten times cheaper than gas-generated electricity. Fracking won’t bring down prices, will take a decade to show results and is almost certainly not viable in the UK. She has also lifted the cap on bonuses for bankers.
But never mind, think about the late Queen, gawd bless her, and God help all of us.
This piece is an extract from today’s REAL Scottish Politics newsletter, which is emailed out at 7pm every weekday with a round-up of the day’s top stories and exclusive analysis from the Wee Ginger Dug.
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