The Michigan Daily
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I’ve never been a part of a conversation regarding TikTok addiction and thought, “Oh yeah, that app should be deleted from our phones.” My friends and I laugh at our declining attention spans, yet we never go further than the everyday complaint. Yes, TikTok damages our mental well-being, but it’s not necessarily evil. The algorithm may constantly harm me, but I have always been capable of stopping this — by just deleting an app from my phone. As a clear self-aware intellectual that is totally incapable of doing anything wrong, I decided that if TikTok was actually harming me, I would have already deleted it. I knew what I was getting into when first downloading the app, so it is my fault for not doing anything about it sooner.
However, my mindset was soon redirected from the harmless ideology to an urgent need to get rid of the app after four agitating years (very surprised I lasted that long). I found myself unwillingly scrolling through videos that made me angry, not understanding why I was forcing myself to waste my precious time on a ridiculous app that glamorizes endless, worthless content that ruins our minds. I did not care for what influencers had to sell me or for the millionth keto recipe that genuinely looked disgusting. I also definitely did not want to get ready with influencers to do the most insane and excessive things the average human doesn’t get to do. TikTok imprinted its artificialness on many of its active users; it was sickening to find millions of people mimicking one another, with no thoughts of their own.
So, why was I forcing myself to spend time doing something I despised?
There were numerous reasons. I couldn’t let go of the trends. I am a digital writer, I need to be kept updated on everything that happens in the digital world. Also, where was I going to get my book recommendations from? What was going to happen to the 600-plus drafts that automatically vanish once I delete the app? There were many questions (and TikTok sounds) going through my mind but I knew there was only one answer: I had to delete the app.
After six months of hate-watching, I concluded that TikTok had to go. However, I never planned for it to happen during the most random day — a Sunday in March. It was the last day of Spring Break, and I was dreading the work I had piled up through the holiday. My delusional thoughts got the best of me once again, making me believe that I was finally going to catch up on the work I was behind on before break. I managed to do nothing during my time off due to TikTok’s captivation. I was cast under a spell with no choice of my own but to scroll through my personal hell. This needed to be done.
Sunday, March 5: The first few hours were difficult. I texted my friends immediately breaking the news: I deleted TikTok! It was my proudest accomplishment but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to last. I grabbed my phone every few minutes with the urge to scroll. What a ridiculous sight. I turned to other social media platforms, but none satisfied me like TikTok once did. Deleting the app did the opposite of helping me; I had trouble concentrating on the work I needed to do. I needed to get out of the house, out of the privacy that constantly directed me to the app. Dinner in public took my mind away from the cravings, but I still struggled to remain focused on anything other than the million sounds running through my head. However, when I went back home, for the first time that night, I opened my laptop and worked. I worked for hours, with the occasional phone grabs, but I worked. I found myself distracted by people around me rather than people on a screen. As ridiculous as this might sound, I was finally capable of looking up at the world that surrounded me rather than looking down at my phone. This might be working!
Monday, March 6: I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry Elon Musk (not really) but Twitter is not enough for my urges. My mind was begging me to re-download TikTok, but I couldn’t fail this early. I cannot remember what anyone did before TikTok. I scrolled through Youtube, Instagram and Twitter hourly, but was immediately bored after the first few minutes. I didn’t even have the urge to scroll through the god-forsaken creation of Instagram reels because everything bored me. My phone bored me. For the first time in years, I put my phone down of my own will, miserable without the instant rush of dopamine TikTok provided me. I went to dinner again. My friends were my main focus the entire time and I stopped the habit of picking my phone up while in a conversation.
Tuesday, March 7: I began to feel overwhelmed over certain expectations my classes pushed, leading me to search for TikTok on the AppStore. I thought I’d be better if I watched a few videos but quickly stopped myself. The reason I was in this position was due to TikTok’s addictive qualities, re-downloading it would have set me back further. Distractions soothed me but their consequences ruined me.
Wednesday, March 8: Sleep has never felt so good. Usually, I go to bed with my phone, scrolling on TikTok until I fall asleep. That habit has ruined my sleep, forcing me to wake up in the middle of the night regularly. It had gotten to the point where I would use my phone while asleep. My third night of sleep provided me with vivid dreams. I woke up ready to start the day rather than dreading what was ahead of me. Maybe this was simply just a placebo effect, and maybe I really wanted to believe that this was helping me, but regardless, I was happy with whatever it was doing to me.
Thursday, March 9: Previously, I had popular sounds stuck in my head, and popular trends stuck in my thoughts; however, I found myself hearing the world for the first time in a long while. I found myself listening to the birds chirping amid the trees, the chatter of people in coffee shops I studied in and the words my professors communicated in lectures. I stopped needing two sources of entertainment to keep me focused (“Family Guy” with Subway Surfer gameplay videos, you’ve ruined me).
Friday, March 10: I’ve spent time discovering my interest in YouTube again; while this was about me reclaiming my attention span, I also realized how much other social media apps needed us. I reclaimed my past with YouTube and Tumblr, apps that I rarely used when using TikTok. I watched Youtube videos that were longer than 20 minutes. And yes, they had my full undivided attention. I read often, but I usually read books recommended by other TikTokers. I could hardly remember a time when I went to a bookstore and looked for books that may interest me. I always walked in to grab my recommendations and left. I am my own person, but I struggled with defining what I truly wanted. TikTok is everywhere, and it consumes me. Why did I do everything that others did? Maybe it was because I thought that things were worthy if they had millions of recommendations to back them up on TikTok. Maybe it was because I wanted to fit in. But I want to know who I truly am without appealing to others. This is the first step.
Saturday, March 11: The beauty of our world should never go unnoticed, yet we spend the majority of our time offering our attention to our screens. My priorities shifted. I no longer needed to carry my phone everywhere in case I got bored. I no longer needed to watch something while eating. I moved my body more, excited to leave the house for adventures. Friends would message me links to TikToks from time to time but I had no desire to open them. In all honesty, I was surprised that I so quickly forgot about the app. Nothing angered me, I escaped the chronically online world and have finally found peace in what others had to say. My assignments were completed and I took care of my body and mental well-being. I took care of myself. It really is easy. Just delete TikTok.
Sunday, March 12: I haven’t thought of TikTok at all. I cleaned, I felt the touch of fabric on my fingers and I observed my cat breathe in the crisp air of a snowy Michigan morning. Sundays are my reset days, and I often rarely want to see others. But I’m different now. I spent the day with my family, watching “Scream VI” (did not look at my phone once) and making smoothies together. By the end of the day, my phone was still at 37%. And to end my night, I clicked on my Instagram memories and was welcomed with a post I shared a year ago from Rayne Fisher-Quann’s “internet princess” blog post, aggressively stating, “you are NOT a trend!”
After an emotional week without TikTok, my thoughts shifted from anger and hatred to gratitude and happiness. There is so much to discover outside of the small gadgets in our hands. I wrote this piece without distractions, my thoughts were calmly flowing in my head. There aren’t unnecessary excessive voices ruining my self-esteem anymore. I haven’t thought of what Alix Earle is doing or what trends emerged through the week I was gone. However, while I finally escaped the restraints TikTok had forced on me, I still found myself facing the app on a day-to-day basis. Friends mentioned trends that I hadn’t encountered, people around me used terminology that I didn’t quite understand and I began to feel like I was left out of an inside joke everyone was in on. It was okay with me. My humor may have taken a harsh decline, but my actions and intentions are finally focused on bettering the lives of the people around me rather than responding to the idiosyncrasies mentioned by people I will never meet.
Yes, this week drastically impacted my well-being, but it may be different for you. Deleting TikTok will not magically cure our problems, but I suggest taking a week off whatever social media platform harms you the most to see how it may impact your life positively. Researchers claim that a one-week break away from social media improves well-being and can relieve depression and anxiety. It will be extremely difficult at first, but the benefits outweigh the challenges. We cannot allow these apps to take away from our lives. We deserve better. Humans deserve better.
To be completely honest, I have no recollection of my login details. This may last more than a week.
Daily Arts Contributor Lynn Sabieddine can be reached at lynnsab@umich.edu.
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