Unwarranted expressions of anger cause the aggressor much more long-term stress and distress than the receiver of the aggression, says Sophie Thompson
As a psychotherapist and care coordinator in a busy, underfunded child and adolescent mental health services unit in the NHS, I field a lot of anger (‘Don’t take it out on our staff!’: How did Britain become so angry?, 4 August). Understandably, this has increased in recent years due to the pressure of the pandemic on an already broken system.
Anger is within the same family of emotions as fear and anxiety. We are now all navigating each other’s fears, which are being projected through displays of anger and disappointment. I would suggest that we need to be better at naming our fears: I am frightened that my loved ones will die; I am scared that my child will not recover from this crippling anxiety and depression that has led them to make attempts on their own life.
We fear lack of control – something which the pandemic has fully compounded in a lot of people. We lost all sense of it so we became angry. We have no patience and love for others.
I saw a young person kick and swear at a train ticket machine the other morning. This would have raised their adrenaline and left them feeling tired once that had left their body. Unwarranted expressions of anger cause the aggressor much more long-term stress and distress than the receiver of the aggression. Road rage is a classic example.
Let’s try to build patience for ourselves and others, pause for a moment and ask ourselves: is this anger warranted?
Sophie Thompson
Worthing, West Sussex
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