How to deal with a toxic boss

Monday, October 2, 2023

Toxic boss? This trick can help you decide what to do

If you’re dealing with a toxic boss, you aren’t alone: They’re the reason 57% of employees have quit a job, according to one report. But if you need the paycheck, it’s not easy to walk away. 

Robyn L. Garrett, an author and CEO of leadership coaching firm Beamably, has a “secret trick” for figuring out whether it’s time to abandon ship.

“Defining your personal values can be tremendously powerful at navigating an issue like this. Not only which values are the most important to you, but [also] which ones you actively oppose,” Garrett recently told the Harvard Business Review’s “New Here” podcast. 

“We don’t always know why we have negative feelings about the workplace, but if you’ve taken the time to define your values, it can make it much, much clearer,” she added.

If it’s your boss who makes the workplace seem toxic, you might be able to find a way to deal with them. Garrett recommends identifying the “variety of factors” that define your relationship with your boss, and using that information to form a plan of action.

“What are their needs? What are their motivations? What are your needs? What are your motivations? How do those things clash? But how can they also work together? And are there ways that the two of you can compromise,” said Garrett.

3 reasons to do informational interviews

For the most part, informational interviews are overlooked, but they can help build your career.

Informational interviews are informal chats that can happen any time and give you an opportunity to learn something within the world of work. Beyond that, these conversations can “help you build relationships. It makes you better at your performance, it gives you increased visibility and exposure,” says Angelina Darrisaw, career coach and founder and CEO of C-Suite Coach.

Here’s how they can help propel you forward in your career.

To learn more about your company: “It increases your understanding of different business functions throughout the company” and gives you a broader lens of the organization, says Darrisaw.

To learn more about your industry: If you’re doing an informational interview with someone outside of your company in the same industry, it can help you learn how different players function and work together to ultimately serve the needs of your customer base.

To learn about a different industry: If you’re curious how other industries function and are even considering making a career shift, doing informational interviews with people in these industries “can give you a broader perspective about the landscape” over there, says Vicki Salemi, a career expert at Monster.

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Goal setting can lead to failure—experts share 2 simple alternatives

If you’ve set a goal and not achieved it, you’re not alone. The world is littered with failed New Year’s resolutions, for example.

When you fall short of an objective, the disappointment can send you spiraling in a troublesome way, research shows. Even setting a goal in the first place can limit you, according to Wharton organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

“Sometimes when you set a goal, it creates tunnel vision and it blinds you to alternative goals,” Grant said on a recent episode of his “ReThinking” podcast.

Still, some parts of goal setting are highly valuable. It’s beneficial to challenge yourself and have ambition. These two alternatives can help you find a healthy balance, experts say:

Use the power of subtraction: Mountain climber and philosopher Francis Sanzaro says he tries to clear his mind, “subtracting” all thoughts unrelated to his immediate next step. Doing so can help you hone your ability to quickly identify and tune out distracting thoughts.

Pursue excellence, not specific goals: Emmanuel Acho, an ex-NFL linebacker, stopped setting goals and started pursuing a “limitless” objective of “excellence,” he said in an April TED Talk. The main difference was that his goals were specific, whereas limitless excellence demanded open-mindedness.

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