By Jan Moir for the Daily Mail
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Going Spare? Me, too. Yet while there has been so much about Prince Harry this week — everything from his frozen penis to losing his virginity alfresco, although sadly these two incidents are not connected — let us spare a thought for Prince William.
Where does all this leave him? Imagine his position. For most of your life you have loved and looked out for your little brother, only to discover via the pages of the fastest-selling memoir in history — 1.43 million copies in all formats in U.S., Canada and Britain on day one — that he resented you all along. Deeply.
Everything, from your bigger bedroom and your more exalted position in the family hierarchy, to your physical resemblance to Mummy, which he envy, envy, envies. Then he exults when this resemblance disappears with age, replaced by ‘your alarming baldness, more advanced than mine’.
So casually cruel, in the name of being honest, as the song goes.
Let us spare a thought for Prince William. Where does all this leave him? Imagine his position
Yet the Willy-bashing signs were always there, long before Spare was published earlier this week. (Earlier this week? Already it seems like 1,000 years ago.)
Speaking to Oprah Winfrey, Harry made it obvious that somewhere deep in his ruined psyche, part of his happiness was dependent on William’s misery.
‘I am free, my brother is trapped’ was the theme song then. On the Netflix docu-series it was ‘I married for love, my brother did not’.
Harry has also stated his belief other royal men married women who ‘fit the mould’ whereas he did not: he married a living saint.
Another cherished leitmotif is that William and Kate (and other senior royals) are somehow ‘jealous’ because Harry and Meghan are so very superior at being royals. Meanwhile, the attacks on the Princess of Wales and the leaked texts over the dreary saga of the bridesmaids’ dresses — well, Harry knows very well how much they will wound and infuriate his older brother.
For when you start to drain the Spare swamp, Harry’s obsessive attacks on the British Press are equalled only by his obsession with William and his superior status. And if you have to vitiate someone else’s happiness to augment your own, to prove to yourself that you are not the second-rate sibling after all, then you are a monster.
Harry misses few opportunities to have a dig at William while elevating himself. He does not even baulk when it comes to sacrosanct family relationships. ‘[My mother has] done her bit with my brother and now she’s very much back to helping me,’ he once said.
‘I’m just making sure that [the Queen’s] protected and got the right people around her,’ he told NBC’s Today show last year, with the tacit suggestion that Prince William couldn’t be trusted to do the same.
‘I am my mother’s son,’ is his mantra, using the golden Diana legacy to pave his way to popularity in the U.S. and usurp William in the process.
On screen, in person or on the page, he strives to show that he is the better brother; morally superior in every way, not a dull, plodding obedient royal dupe like Someone He Could Mention.
For most of your life you have loved and looked out for your little brother Harry, only to discover via the pages of the fastest-selling memoir in history — 1.43 million copies in all formats in U.S., Canada and Britain on day one — that he resented you all along
‘I’ve put my arm around my brother all our lives and I can’t do that any more,’ said a sad William, when the rift between them peeled open in January 2020. Imagine a younger brother fostering a lifelong resentment against an older brother because he was born first. But this is the sorry juncture we have reached.
Broadcaster Andrew Marr said this week that Prince Harry’s book and general post-Megxit behaviour were not only damaging for the monarchy, they might even hasten its demise. It is hard to argue with that.
Throughout Spare, senior royals and courtiers are portrayed as bumbling fools while progressive, smart Harry the Hare is the admirable antithesis to silly billy Willy the Timid Tortoise. It is relentless — and very damaging.
And judging by Harry’s appearance on the Stephen Colbert chat show in America — which brought the series’s largest audience in two years, with 3.5 million viewers — the monarchy is an even bigger laughing stock there. Harry, too — although I doubt he realises he was being mocked on camera.
Meanwhile, everything was delightfully Hollywood backstage. ‘He is a great hugger,’ said his celebrity make-up artist Jenn Streicher, whose other clients include actor Chris Evans, whom People magazine has just dubbed ‘the sexiest man alive’.
The same magazine also ran an interview with Harry this week.
‘My hope has been to turn my pain into purpose,’ he said. These days Harry doesn’t even have the decency to blush, making Jenn’s task so much easier.
Back home in the dull, buttoned-up Britain of Harry’s imagination, another man’s life drifts deeper into the shadows. It must be saddening to realise your only brother is jealous of you, but this is so much more. Every action has a consequence and the sparkling highs of Harry’s exciting new life are matched only by the lows he has excavated in William’s.
For the burden of it all falls onto the shoulders of the Prince of Wales like a concrete cloak.
King Charles doesn’t want a fuss — his only wish is that his last years are problem free. ‘Don’t make them a misery,’ he begged his warring sons at his own father’s funeral.
It is upon William somehow to positively navigate forwards out of this sorry mess, to pick up the pieces and to carve out a future for himself, for his family, for the monarchy and the country, too.
The saddest thing is that he has to do all this not only without the support of his only brother, but in spite of his only brother.
I have such compassion for ginger whingers
It made me think of the actress Julianne Moore — another whinging ginger
Prince Harry’s television interviews have been fascinating. He alternates between being avuncular and obsessed, between humour and lofty disdain.
He’s as sweet as syrup until someone has the temerity to ask him a question he doesn’t like . . . then out pops the cloven hoof.
‘What do you mean, scathing?’ he snapped at Tom Bradby on ITV.
‘And what difference would that make?’ he said testily, when Anderson Cooper for CBS asked why the Sussexes didn’t renounce their titles.
However, what I have really loved is his masterclass in passive aggression, particularly when he says the opposite of what he actually means.
‘I have enormous compassion for her,’ he said of the Queen Consort Camilla, whom he has described as ‘dangerous’ and ‘scheming’ elsewhere.
It made me think of the actress Julianne Moore — another whinging ginger.
This week she was complaining about her red hair and pale skin. She is movie-star beautiful, but says she doesn’t like her looks and would rather be a ‘tanned blonde’. Do you know what? I have enormous compassion for her.
Pity the Sussexes having to slum it in rent-free pad
Back to Harry. Looking at the photographs, I can understand why he was embarrassed to show Meghan his Nott Cott digs — the grace-and-favour cottage in the grounds of Kensington Palace where he was living when they met. ‘It looks like a frat house,’ she said, and he agreed, looking anew at the ‘tiny rooms’ and ‘shabby furniture’.
Meghan was right. Poorly furnished, a little neglected, badly lit — Nott Cott looks like an unloved rental. Even Meghan’s budget-buy Ikea lamps and new sofas did little to cheer it up. But weren’t their complaints about their living conditions a little graceless?
I can understand why he was embarrassed to show Meghan his Nott Cott digs. ‘It looks like a frat house,’ she said
There is a cost-of-renting crisis in London, a city where few young people can afford to buy a home, and even if they can, the costs take more that 40 per cent out of their salary. Everyone else has to commute from far and wide.
A rent and cost-free cottage in the middle of a royal park in a highly desirable area of London? My God, it is a matter for celebration, not grievance. Sometimes the richly blessed are totally blind to their own good fortune.
Delphine Arnault (pictured) is the daughter of LVMH’s billionaire owner Bernard Arnault, who has just appointed her as the new head of Christian Dior and she will serve as CEO of the French label from next month
Delphine’s no lazy nepo babe
Delphine Arnault is the daughter of LVMH’s billionaire owner Bernard Arnault, who has just appointed her as the new head of Christian Dior and she will serve as CEO of the French label from next month.
Many are appalled at what they see as nepotism, but I can’t get angry at nepo babies any more.
Once upon a time it was infuriating when the likes of Stella McCartney would cheep: ‘Yes, my name helped me get through the door, but I made it on my own after that.’ Not realising that getting through the door is the most difficult bit.
Yet 47-year-old Delphine’s whole life seems to have been working towards this moment: she gained degrees from a French business school and the London School of Economics before joining LVMH in 2000, starting in the shoe department and literally working her way up the fashion business.
Her father is the richest man in the world. Delphine could choose to do nothing, but she chooses to work instead.
I wish her all the best.
Many are understandably worried about mortgage rates and the cost of living. That is one reason why the financial affairs of Elon Musk are so hard to wrap one’s head around. After losing £149 billion in a year because of falling Tesla shares, Musk has set a new world record for the biggest loss of personal fortune. That’s the kind of world-beating title no one wants. And it is also really very sad. Pass me that onion. No, really. It is.
Joker Jack just loves quiet life
Jack Nicholson lives like a recluse high above Hollywood because he doesn’t want to face the reality of growing old, according to reports.
Rubbish. Nicholson has been reclusive for years. When I interviewed him over a decade ago, he admitted to being solitary and said he loved it. He couldn’t be bothered any more! He cherished the isolation.
He never went to parties, his housekeeper made all his food and he was reluctant even to have guests for dinner. Jack has done it all, seen it all, drunk it all, tasted it all, gone back for seconds and doesn’t want to do it any more. Not all people who are alone are lonely.
Jack Nicholson (pictured) lives like a recluse high above Hollywood because he doesn’t want to face the reality of growing old, according to reports. Rubbish
EXCLUSIVE: Joint custody! Amy Robach is seen meeting up with estranged husband Andrew Shue in Manhattan to hand off their beloved Maltipoo Brody before heading to rendezvous with T.J. Holmes
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
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