Lyric Waiwiri-Smith is a Stuff lifestyle reporter who worked on the counter at a burrito chain for four years and now dates a chef.
OPINION: “Have you finally learnt how to read a clock?”
This is my second attempt at getting into Karen’s Diner, the gimmicky Australian pop-up eatery that has just landed in New Zealand.
My boyfriend Joe, a commis chef, and I, an ex-burrito artist, selfishly showed up six minutes early for our 11.30am booking and were coldly turned away even though only one table in the restaurant was in use.
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Before we could even enter Karen’s Diner, we got exactly what we were here for: the worst restaurant service of our lives.
Karen’s Diner is a 1950s Americana-themed eatery that opened in Sydney last year, and runs purely on the ethos of the Karen stereotype.
The internet’s Karen is the woman who calls for the manager over the tiniest thing, the woman who bullies servers, the woman who thinks the restaurant revolves around her – at Karen’s Diner, the staff have their power back.
As someone who worked four years serving customers, I was jealous of the servers.
Working in the hospitality industry may be thought of by many as “unskilled labour,” but it’s a job that can completely break a person.
Auckland’s Karen’s Diner is nestled in the wealthy suburb of Mount Eden where Karens are bound to be found in their masses.
The interior is bright with neon signs screaming “I’m wanting to make a complaint” and “Where are my fries!”.
We’re seated, begrudgingly, by a young woman who later comes back to scatter cups and slam a water bottle on our table.
Perhaps it’s his long ginger hair, but Joe almost immediately becomes a target. They call him an “Ed Sheeran look-alike” and a server flips him the bird.
This all sounds terrible in writing, but in real life we laughed. It’s kind of like having dinner at a comedy show, and everyone’s in on the joke – the positive thing is that servers aren’t allowed to base their insults on racism, sexism, or homophobia (although the red hair gag did ruffle Joe’s feathers a bit).
A waitress comes to take our drink orders then walks off when we take too long to decide. (don’t worry, they do come back eventually).
Our drinks arrive, and so does a genuine issue: the Milky Way milkshake Joe ordered came out as vanilla.
This raised a very important question about Karen’s Diner: what happens when the staff mess up your order?
Will you be abused for complaining about your food when there’s a problem? Would they actually fix it or leave you with food you don’t want? Unfortunately, we never found out the answer as I begged my boyfriend not to complain because my fear of confrontation was stronger than my curiosity.
Once we got to ordering food, I was tempted by the I Want The Manager burger just for the name alone, but settled for Karen’s Best Breast.
Joe, who is coeliac, went for the loaded fries (gluten-free burger buns are available for a $4 surcharge).
Another issue pops up – they don’t have the brisket fries he wants, so Joe is told (very literally and very rudely) to order the chicken and bacon fries.
“In a regular restaurant if you had no brisket, the customer would tell you to tell the chef to get some,” Joe says, bemused.
We’ve only just started tucking in (my burger slightly cold and Joe’s chicken a bit too dry) when one of the servers grabs a microphone and declares to diners how pathetic they are to be dining here at 12pm on a Thursday.
As she bullies the crowd through a game of Karen trivia, I wonder how the hiring process at this place must go.
Joe notes he wasn’t given utensils and a lady at the table next to us is desperate for napkins, but everyone seems too scared to ask the staff for help.
“It’s more nerve-wrecking than going to a normal restaurant … you have to fend for yourself. You can’t rely on the service of the waiters or waitresses or the food that comes out of the kitchen,” Joe says.
About 20 minutes later, the game master returns again, this time for a game of spin the wheel.
A group of older women next to me are forced to catwalk, and the restaurant has to cheer for the person with the worst outfit.
We’re then told to yell “f… off Karen!” at one of the older ladies in the group, and the staff members join in with vitriol.
I’m feeling incredibly shy as I step to the counter to pay, unsure what to expect. The young woman and man at the counter demand a tip.
How do I say no? Thank God I pay on the company card.
Would I go again? As much as it made me laugh, it was a bit too anxiety- inducing for me.
Of course, it’s all just a joke that everyone is in on, and adding games throughout the meal service makes the experience interactive and fun, but I can’t imagine being a regular at a restaurant that treats you terribly.
The food here is slightly on the expensive side – the cheapest burger is $22 and the priciest is $28, while Joe’s milkshake cost $12.
I guess you’re paying for the service.
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