By: Muck R. Ayk
Trump Tower, Chatham?
CHATHAM – One of the most unsightly properties in town is about to get a makeover – and what a makeover it will be!
The former Cumberland Farms store near the corner of Main Street and Crowell Road has been sold to the mysterious DJTTTC LLC. But a bit of sleuthing by The Comical, and plans filed with the town’s community development department, confirmed that former president Donald J. Trump is behind the purchase and plans to erect Trump Tower Chatham on the site.
In a statement, Trump said the project will “make Chatham great again!”
Plans filed with the town show a 50-story tower including a five-star restaurant, hotel, shops, offices and apartments. A 10-level parking garage and aquarium will be built underneath the structure, which will be situated in the middle of the quarter-acre lot.
The former Cumberland Farms property has been vacant for several years, with residents and officials often complaining about the boarded-up building facing Main Street near what is considered the “gateway” to downtown Chatham. A 50-story skyscraper will be somewhat of an improvement, said select board chair Sharkeen Eldrudge.
“Think of the tax revenue!” she said, drooling slightly. “The tax rate will be the lowest in the northeast!”
Asked how a 50-story building can be built in a town with a 30-foot height limit, Community Development Director K.T. Downlevy said the project will require a number of approvals from the zoning board of free passes.
“Since they’re all Republicans, this should be a no-brainer,” she said.
Local members of the Republican town committee said they had already begun preparations for Trump’s arrival for the groundbreaking, which could coincide with his run for president in 2024.
“This will be the greatest day in Chatham history,” said committee chair Q.A. Nyon. “We’re inviting Jared Full Pitcher to help cut the ribbon.”
A request by Town Manager Jade Golddigger that Trump pay for improvements to the Main Street-Crowell Road intersection, since his project will add considerable traffic, was met with a resounding “No.”
“I don’t do infrastructure,” the ex-president said. “I suggest you ask Joe Biden.”
Cockle Cove, 1971. COURTESY OF Christopher Seufert.
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